Potluck Friday

I thought this day would never come!!! This was officially the longest week EVER.

1. Ok. I'm not trying to be insensitive. Honestly, i'm not. My heart goes out to the trainer who was killed by the whale at Sea World. BUT, i can't help but wonder what the heck folks think are gonna happen when they have crazy a$$ jobs that consist of working with KILLER whales? I'm not just talking about this job either. i'm talking about all kinds of crazy jobs. Like, Dale Earnhardt. Crazy sad. But also crazy expected in a way. If my job was to drive 5,000 miles around a circle, i'm gonna kind of expect to get messed up. If my job is to stick my head in a tiger's mouth, i'm gonna expect that one day that kitty is gonna think i'm a hershey's kiss and bite down. Was anybody really surprised when the Crocodile Hunter was killed? Well, yeah, we were surprised because he was killed by a sting ray and not a crocodile and that he lasted as long as he did. Again, my heart goes out to these folks. But if you ever here that i was killed by a whale, that means that a whale broke out of it's tank and walked to my house, knocked on the door and ate me. That's the only way a whale is getting a piece of this.
   
   
2. Did anyone tune in to Idol last night and see Allison Iraheta sing her "hit?" All i have to say is one thing -- well, multiple things: the only person who can pull off pink hair is Jem, what the heck was that thing hanging off the back of her dress, why did that song have no chorus, why was she making weird faces like she was gonna beat up the audience, and why didn't Kris Allen sing an original song. Oh, sorry, that last one wasn't about Allison, but it still annoyed me. The funniest part about Allison's performance was that the song was HORRIBLE but she was singing it like it was a #1 jam. I'm sure in her heads she thought it was her "Single Ladies." Sadly, it wasn't.
   
   
3. So, whose on my crap list this week? Cox Cable. i think Cox is always on my crap list. But the customer service i got yesterday took Cox's crappiness to a whole new level. As many of you know, i'm old school. I still tape my stories (soap operas) using my VCR. But lately i've found myself in a predicament where i either don't have enough tape or don't have time to run home and put a new tape in. So James and i have been talking about getting a.....gasp...DVR. So i've been doing some research that consists of asking all my friends with DVR how much they pay. This was mistake #1. Don't ask folks how much they pay for anything because they always tell you 10-20 percent less. Basically everyone -- except for T. Marie -- told me that "DVR is only like an extra $6 or $7 a month." James and i were floored!!! Really?! So yesterday i called and spoke to a Cox rep that i will call "Shaniqua." She answered the phone like she was at home. When i told her that i wanted some information on DVR and the available options. She gave me a sarcastic description of what a DVR did. That should have been my sign that this call would not go well. She was annoyed that I was calling and asking her questions about Cox instead of going to the website, which is the exact opposite of user friendly. She basically informed me that DVR was not an extra $6 or $7 and all my friends were stupid chicken heads and that i'd be better off with AT&T. I've always know why Cox was named Cox.
   
   
4. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Drinks on me" by Oklahoma City-grown Meant2Be:
   
   

Idol Chatter: Top 12 Gals

So i promised myself i was not going to get trapped into the obligation of watching Idol this season, or at least not until they had narrowed it down quite a bit. But last night I vegged over at my girl Kerra's and we watched the top 12 ladies sing.
All i can say is this: ReRe and Kerra are guaranteed to be in the top 2 this season. Why? Because it ain't sounding pretty this season at all.
Don't get me wrong. There were about 4 girls who sounded pretty good (not really good enough to buy an album, but good enough to root for) but that's not a good ratio considering there are 12 gals in the competition.
And clearly Idol is in a recession because everyone looked like they had made their own outfits. It was like Ryan said: "Here's a piece of tarp, some lace and some control top pantyhose. See what you can make." Seriously, everyone's outfit consisted of those 3 items. It was terrible. One of the girls who i actually liked was dressed like Madonna circa 1984 -- before this girl was even born i'm sure.
My least favorite was this little girl Haeley Vaughn. I know it's a singing competition and it shouldn't matter what folks look like, but come on peeps, this girl has WAYYYY too many teeth. I couldn't even look at the TV. Even Simon told her it looked like she was having a hard time choosing between smiling and singing. And don't even get me started on the fact that she was wearing a pair of white pantyhose. Seriously? Her mama should be ashamed of herself. Every black mama knows it's their job to tell their little girls that white pantyhose on little chocolate legs is a no-no.
It wasn't just a the dress and amount of teeth that annoyed me last night. It was also the abundance of baby-voice singing. Apparently someone told all the contestants if they sing like Jennifer Tilly, they will win the competition.
The best gal of the night byfar was Crystal Bowersox. But unfortunately all the judges said, though she was a good singer, she was not original and there were tons of artists just like her at coffee shops around the nation. But that's just bunk. If they wanted folks to be "original" they'd stop saying things like "you are so commercial." Which is just code for "You look like Christina Spears with a hint of Jessica Timberlake." And yeah, there may be tons of coffee shop singers busting out Alanis Morissette songs, but Crystal is the only one here doing it so shut it!
I may or may not tune in to the dudes tonight. we'll see.

I admit it, i'm not watching the Olympics

Does it make me a bad person or unAmerican that i'm just not into the Olympics? I've never been an Olympics gal, but i'm especially bored by the winter games. I blame it on my African roots. I just can't imagine why folks think it's a good idea to do any activity that requires 82 layers of chapstick and 9 layers of clothes. I don't like going outside when it's below 50 degrees, so you can forget about doing anything that might result in freezing to death.
There is a reason why you don't see many black folks in the winter Olympics. Yeah yeah, i think once upon a time there was the Jamaican Bobsled team -- (or was that movie?) -- but that's like a black Republican -- it happens, just not very often and doesn't make it right.

Potluck Friday

Happy Potluck Friday!!!!

1. From the folks who liked the movie Valentine's Day please, please, please either explain to me why, or give me whatever you took before you sat down and watched that turd. It's like the director heard that all these stars were going to be in one central location for 3 days and he said "Awesome. lets shoot a movie with all of them!" Someone said: "Do you have a script?" and the director said "Nah, we can just wing it. Can't go wrong with all these stars. No need for a story!" It was oh so very bad. But some folks really liked it. About 30 minutes into it, the lady sitting next to me whispered over "I can't take this anymore. This is terrible." So she and her husband got up and left. I wanted to leave, but my friend Kerra said we were going to suffer through it because we'd paid $9 and we are in a recession. After the lady next to me left, two young girls took the empty chairs (the theater was so packed that these girls had been sitting on the floor). They were the exact opposite of the couple who left: they cried through the entire movie and kept mumbling things like"Omg!!!!" or "AWWW!!!" or "This is so sweet." When it was over, the girl closest to me said "This was sooooo good." I looked at her and said "This was a warm turd." She was speechless.
   
   
2. Speaking of Valentine's Day, would someone please explain to me why Jessica Alba thinks it's appropriate for her to have blond hair? One of my biggest pet peeves is brown folks with blond hair, or when someone's hair is the same color as their skin (i'm talking to you Ms. Alba). Stop it! I have an auntie who is two shades darker than me and she has been a blond for at least 28 years -- i should send her this post.
   
   
3. Speaking of that auntie. She is not a spring chicken -- but you would never know it! Along with rhythm, something else we black folks have going on is great skin! If i ever start a skin care line, i'm gonna call it "Black Don't Crack."
   
   
4. What's ReRe jamming this week. It's called "Say Ahhh" by Trey Songz. love it!
   
   

Safe Sex to a whole new level

I like to think of this blog as a family blog. I try to avoid rambling about anything too spicy or personal, but some things -- like the importance of safe sex -- can not be avoided. So today is PSA day. I want all of my readers to know that i'm a supporter of safe sex.
I'm not the only one who cares about safe sex. The Center for Biological Diversity also cares about safe sex, and the organization recently combined that passion with its mission of preserving wildlife by sending out samples of condoms with pictures of endangered species -- i couldn't make this up if i wanted to.

Wait, it gets better.

The condoms not only had a picture of an endangered animal, they also had slogans such as:

"Wear a jimmy hat...save the big cat."

"Wrap with care...save the polar bear."

"Wear a condom now...save the spotted owl."

This is the best idea ever! I have few, more realistic slogans they could use:

"Don't make another baby mama...save the iguana." (i have no idea if the iguana is extinct, but it probably will be one day).

"You can't afford the kids you got...save the peacock." (this one could be taken literally)

"Wasn't too long ago you had the drip...wrap it up and save a chimp."

The difference between James and John Mayer

So apparently, unlike James, John Mayer is not a fan of dating black women (and possibly black folk in general):

"My (tiny male organ) is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a (freaking) David Duke (teeny tiny male organ) I'm going to start dating separately from my (seriously tiny male friend)."

Well, John Mayer, i'm not offended. No black women are offended, because honestly i can't think of any sistas who want to boogie down with this:

or this

Thanks, but no thanks.

Potluck Friday

TGIF!!!

1. You know what makes this the best Friday ever? I'm FINALLY going to get my hair did. I can't describe the level of nappiness. I know this trip is going to be like a long-needed trip to the dentist. You know, i'm going to hear things like "It's been a whilllllleeeee since we've seen you." Knowing my stylist, she'll just come out with it and say "ReRe, your hair is rough. What you been doing sweetie." Gottla love my girl CoCo, she just tells it like it is when it comes to my naps. By this 6 p.m. tonight i'm gonna be napfree -- for at least 4-6 weeks.
   
   
2. I finally know what actors mean when they say "It's just an honor being nominated." What they mean: "It's about dang time -- where's my trophy fool?!" Just kidding (kinda). But seriously, i feel oober honored to be nominated in the category of Most Humorous Blog in the Okie Blog Awards! Even if i don't win -- though I should cus i'm freaking hilarious and it's Black History Month -- I'm gonna tell my out-of-state family members that i did.
   
   
3. Nothing is more ghetto than having this message on your phone: "Blocked calls, unknown calls and 800 number calls will not be returned." If you have to go down a list of what calls you don't return, then you need to pay some bills or stop having multiple baby daddys/mamas cus those are the only folks who call anonymously. I'm not gonna say whose phone i heard this message on this week, but i will say that she's my cousin, and no, it's not Crazy Cousin Keisha.
   
   
4. James and I rented Sunshine Cleaning this past weekend. I give it two thumbs up. I like any movie that can make me stop thinking of Amy Adams as a prissy snob (she often comes off like that in interviews). This succeeded.
   
   
5. What is Re jamming? Jamming is not the right word. It should be: What is Re screaming at the top of her lungs every 10 seconds? "Evacuate the Dance Floor"! by Cascada:
   

Man vs. Dog

When i don't have my glasses on i can't see a thing -- i'm talking blinder than Julia Roberts was when she married Lyle Lovett.
So i had no idea what my toes were massaging on the carpet the other day. I just knew it felt like a big piece of wet plastic. So i called James over to take a looksy of what was between my toes.
He came over and then said: "Oh NO!!!!!"

Turns out my toes were caressing pieces of his retainer -- the retainer he sleeps in at night to keep his teeth looking like a million bucks (that's about what we paid for that smile).

ReRe: What do you mean it's your retainer?!!!
James: The dogs must have got it.
ReRe: How did the dogs get your retainer out of your mouth?
James: I took it out and put it on my bedside table. It was wrapped on a paper towel, sitting on the plate.
ReRe: sitting on the plate...THAT HAD LEFT OVER SCRAMBLED EGG RESIDUE?!!!!
James: Yes, but it was wrapped in a paper towel.

I think i blacked out after that. In short, James will get a new retainer, and also try to remember that a dog's nose and determination are a strong thing -- even if something is wrapped in an egg-laced paper towel.

Bizarre Bazaar

This past weekend James and i took a trip to the flea market. The flea market in Oklahoma City is not your ordinary flea market. Words can not explain Old Paris Flea Market -- but i'll do my best.
Old Paris has been around forever, i remember going there when i was little to get shoes that looked like Nikes, but weren't. They still have those shoes, you can also get purses that look like Coach purses -- but aren't.
But the big thing at Old Paris these days is glass pipes. I'm talking glass pipes galore. Every single booth was selling glass pipes or puppies -- or both. In a state where tattooing is barely legally, you wouldn't think we'd be the mecca for glass pipes, but apparently Okies love their "tobacco." The booths that don't sell puppies or smoking pipes, opt to sell expired vitamins or food, perfumes and lotions that smell like they were mixed in someone's kitchen while a pot of chitterlings was cooking, old school VHS movies with Chevy Chase, Spanish gangsta rap, cell phone cases with confederate flags on them, T-shirts that you can have customized with your picture and a saying that says "I LOVE MY DADDY" or something cheesy (i actually made one of those for my dad when i was 7). The best shirt i saw this weekend was the "sample" shirt hanging in the booth. It consisted of a mom and daughter, both women had grillz on their teeth and crazy colorful peacock hairstyles. Under mom's pic it said "mama fresh" and under the daughter's pic it said "baby fresh."
I think i recognized them from an episode of Judge Joe Brown. Glad to see they made up with each other.
Other things you can see while walking around Old Paris is:

• parents cussing out their infants in Spanish
• parents cussing out their infants in English
• old dudes who you know are in the Klan, but have run out of retirement money so therefore have no choice but to sell cell phones and jewelry to young black and Latino teen boys
• a guy selling laptops ("We Have Dell!") out of the back of his big white van (i'm sure he had puppies and ice cream in there too). Umm, dude, if you can't afford space INSIDE the flea market, why would anyone buy a laptop from you? Oh wait, you have a long line of fools who are getting a "deal."
• Latino cowboys who hang inside the flea market bar -- yes, the flea market has a full bar inside.
  

Friends don't let friends eat and drive

The other day James and I were listening to the radio and heard the story about the dude who was driving and choked on his bite of chili and crashed into a house. I of course thought it was crazy that chili -- or any food for that matter -- could be so distracting while your driving. But James on the other hand could empathize with the driver. Why you ask? Well, did i ever tell you the story about how one day i was taking the 19th Street exit in Moore with my then 13 year-old nephew and he pointed out the window to these crazy skid marks that went from the exit onto the grass and back again? "Look ReRe, those are James' tire marks! He told me not to tell you."
WHAT?!!! "Yeah, yesterday he was eating some granola and the next thing we knew we were skidding off the road."

James later clarified that while he had his granola tipped up to get the last crumbs, a blueberry was stuck and refused to slide into his mouth. But he couldn't let the berry win, so he struggled with it -- and somehow forgot he was driving.
So yeah, James and the chili man have a lot in common.

Monday Morning Gym Rant

This morning i grabbed an updated class schedule at the Y. My work hours will be changing soon -- going in earlier, getting off earlier -- so i wanted to see what classes i'd be able to squeeze in. I was disappointed when i realized that most of the classed -- the ones i want to take anyway -- are made for women who don't work. I'd love to do a 10 a.m. zumba class, but i got a jobby job. One day when i have a little mocha baby i'd love to do a Mommy and Me class before lunch., but again, i got a jobby job.
I don't know why i'm surprised by this. The few times that i have been to the gym in the middle of the day, i'm usually one of a few folks who weighs more than 100 pounds, doesn't have implants and doesn't have a level 5 hurricane facelift. Ok, that was harsh, but seriously the ladies who are the gym at 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. are WAYYYY different than the gals who go to the gym in the middle of the day.
When i told James this, his response was:

Really?! Sounds like i need to pop in over there and feed the cougars!

But sadly i reminded him that at the ripe age of 34, he is way beyond "boy toy" age!

Potluck Friday

What makes this the best Potluck Friday ever?! James and I are both off today and will celebrate by doing absolutely nothing -- after i do this Potluck of course!

1. I did the unthinkable yesterday. Something i've NEVER done before and have always said i'd never do: i parked in a handicapped parking spot. It drives me bat poop crazy when people do this. For the last 5 years of her life my mom used a wheelchair and it would make me so angry when we'd have to circle the block for a spot b/c all of them were taken (but not everyone had a decal). But yesterday it was an extreme emergency. I was craving a lemon cupcake from Cookies 'N' Cards like no one's business and the only open spot was a handicapped spot. I thought about taking that as a sign that the nutrition gods didn't want me to have the deliciousness that is a lemon cupcake the size of my head with cream cheese icing. But instead i took that as a sign from my mom saying "baby, park there for me and eat the cupcake." So that's what i did. I parked in the spot, and then ran across the street to the cookie shop. Yes people, let me say that again: i parked in the handicapped spot and then RAN across the street. I'm going to hell -- but at least i got a cupcake before i go.
   
   
2. I think there is nothing more ghetto than asking folks to help pay for your honeymoon -- well, that was before James told me of the weird email he got from a former classmate's brother. Apparently the loving brother sent an email to everyone in his sister's address book asking people to help send his "hard working and independent" sister on a honeymoon. He even set up a visa account so folks could donate online. His big sale was "think about all the money you saved not having to go to the wedding. so now here is your chance to still give a gift." Some of you may be thinking this was sweet. This might be a little sweet, but the ghettometer is way to high on this. Tacky!!!
   
   
3. My food find of the week is Wanchai Ferry. Have you seen that commercial with the panda bear telling the folks to just make chinese at home? OMG, this stuff is so freaking good. I made the cashew chicken the other night and it was so good that i started talking dirty to it -- that's how you can tell i'm enjoying my food. I talk dirty to it. You should have heard the things i said to that lemon cupcake yesterday. Anyway, if you like chinese but don't want to spend a ton, i definitely recommend.
   
   
4. For weeks James has been convinced that Lil Bro was stealing his underwear. Of course i told him he was wrong for two very important reasons: 1) There is a significant size difference between Lil Bro and James and there's no way they could fit into the same boxer briefs and 2) (this is the most important one) My mama raised us WAY better than that and we know you don't share undies, toothbrushes or deodorant. Well, apparently Lil Bro missed that last lesson b/c when i walked past his basket of laundry the other day, i noticed two nicely folded pairs of James' undies. A part of me wants to see Lil Bro squeezing into these tiny undies -- but another part of me thinks that's beyond gross.
   
   
5. I'm not really jamming anything this week, so this week i'll tell you what i'm watching this week -- and every week, but this week it's just been so dang good! General Hospital! For about a year i've been disappointed with the GH storyline, but it's really picked up and this week it's the best it's been in awhile -- oh how i miss dishing with my mama on our stories! This week the secret is out: Dominic's real name is Dante. Dante is really an undercover cop and out to put Sonny in jail. Connie is Dante's mom. And Sonny is Dante's dad. It's a family reunion -- except for the fact that Sonny shot Dante when he tried to arrest him. OMG! Between the wii and GH i'm never gonna get to study again.
   

My name is ReRe...and I'm a Wii head

I've never had a gambling problem, or any addiction problem (unless you count my addictions to James), but i think i may be slipping over the edge.

Wii Tennis is my crack. I've been playing Wii Tennis for a few years -- over at Middle Bro's house-- but ever since Santa brought James a Wii this past Christmas, it's ALL i've been doing. It's all i think about. I play before work, i play on my lunch break, I play after work. It's bad. Real bad yall. I've jacked up my shoulder, i've inflamed my carpal tunnel and it's made me develop quite the potty mouth. I've found myself picking fights with animated video characters over their serves.

James is worried about me. Last night he cautiously said: "Baby, maybe you should take a break."
I think my exact words were: "I don't need a break, i started with almost 800 dollars -- i mean skill points -- and now i'm below 700. I gotta build my skill points back up."

He again tried to convince me to take a break, but i channeled my inner pill-popping Jessie Spano and said "I can still play. I'm so excited...I'm so excited... I'm so...SCARED!!!!!!"


I then decided it was time to go to bed -- and get help.

I haven't always been this cute -- I used to be even cuter!

So this morning when i logged into Facebook, i noticed my mom's BFF from back in the day had posted a picture on my wall. As i looked closer, i realized the picture was of Little ReRe -- circa 1983 or 1984.

It doesn't get cuter than this (and take note of the little black Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls in the background!):

Last Call to Okie Bloggers

Hey Okie Bloggers, don't forget to vote in the Okie Blog Awards. And in honor of Black History Month, i think it's only fair to vote for Re-Ramblings in at least one category. (You will be making Harriet Tubman and MLK proud)!

You say rotator, i say rotatoe

All weekend James has been making fun of me because I've been complaining that my rotary cup is hurting -- i think i messed it up playing the Wii.
Why does he think this is so funny? Because apparently there's no such thing as a "rotary cup" and he said he and all the other physical therapists he knows makes fun of folks like me who call their "rotator cuff" "rotary cups." He said he wishes he had a blog so he could make fun of me for saying rotary cup.

Well, he DOESN'T have a blog, butI DO and i'm gonna make fun of him:

While playing fetch with Charlie -- who loves to go get the ball, but doesn't like to bring it back -- James said:

"We really need to LEARN HIM how to bring back the ball."

My response?: "'Learn him' baby? Really?! 'Learn Him?!'"

My boy may know a lot of stuff about joints and muscles, but grammar is a whole other story!