Number 1 or Number 2?

Am I the only one who feels pressured at the optometrist office? I recently got my eyes tested -- i'm rocking some new glasses that are very cute -- and realized that I always feel like my doc doesn't believe me when i say "#1 is clearer than #2."
He's always flipping from lens to lens saying "Number 1 or number 2? Number 2 or number 3." And then when i say which one i think is best he back tracks and says something like "Number 2? Let's look at Number 1 again." Ummm dude, it's my eyes! I know which one i want to look through for a year. I'm scared that one day i'm going to feel so pressured that i walk out with the wrong prescription just because i was scared to say that #3 was better than #1.
Maybe my doc does not believe just how blind I am -- I make Mr. Magoo look like he had laser surgery.
I'm sure there are some folks who squint during the tests and guess at what the tiniest line says -- I used to do this in elementary school, hence why i didn't get glasses until 4th grade but probably needed them in 1st grade.
But i'm not a guesser. If i can't read the row of letters or see the lighthouse, I bust out and say it.
Long ago i embraced the fact that carrots will do nothing for my eyes. Heck, when i made the eye appointment last week my exact words were "I thought my professor's powerpoints were blurry; turns out i'm just getting blinder."
It's like the doc couldn't possibly believe my eyes could get any worse. When he wrote the prescription for my updated coke-bottles he said "Hmmm. Your prescription did change a bit. "
I wanted to yell DUH!

Some things in life should not be free

I'm a lover of free things, but i think it's crap when some companies think free is synonymous with crap. I'm talking about 1-800-free-411. What's the point of calling 4-1-1 if you can't get the info you are requesting? Yesterday I called Free 4-1-1 so i could get the number to Lil Bro's dentist -- he has a toothache.

I dialed the number (which is programmed into my phone because i USED TO think this was a convenient service). I listened to the required dumb add for a company you've never heard of and will never use. And then i said my city and state. Then I said "business" for business. And then i said "Ocean Dental."

The annoying automated lady repeated back "Post office. If that's not right say go back."
I said "go back" and once again said "Ocean Dental." The automated lady once again said "Post Office." I repeated the above step again. This time annoying computer lady said "Ellison Feed and Seed. If that's not right say go back."
I was beyond annoyed. I hit the zero button a thousand times hoping that would get me a real person, but instead it sent me a text message with the contact info for the Post Office. Uuuggghh.
I finally hung up and dialed the real 4-1-1. I figured not going out of my mind and throwing my phone was worth the $1.99 charge i will have for calling the real mccoy.

Dr. Seuss is crying

I don't know what elementary school James went to, but it definitely wasn't mine because I learned how to rhyme at my school. My husband is a brilliant man. He can do math in his head -- anyone who can do that is brilliant to me -- and he knows all kinds of trivia. But one thing my hubby can't do is rhyme words. I learned this a few years ago while we were playing a game of Cranium and he put two non-rhyming words together. I thought this was a fluke and recently checked on his rhyming skills only to find that the boy can't rhyme.

ReRe: Baby, remember when you thought rhyming just meant same vowel sounds?
James: Yeah, and i still do.
ReRe: You can't be serious? So, you think rat rhymes with rack?
James: Yes. They both have the "aaaa" sound.
ReRe: Baby, that's not rhyming. RaT and RaCK do not rhyme.
James: Yes they do. They have the same sound.
ReRe: Not exactly. So do you think house and round rhyme?
James: Yes, they rhyme. They have the same "ou" sound.
ReRe: Baby, that's not rhyming, that's like-rhyme.
James: If that's not rhyming, then why do rappers use it in their songs? And there's no such thing as like-rhyme.
ReRe: Rappers aren't necessarily rapping, they are using like-rhyme, and there is such a thing. I'm so gonna blog about this!
James: Go ahead and blog about this, but make sure to include how you are making up terms like "like-rhyme."

Potluck Friday

1. TGIF because i'm getting my hair did tonight -- and I need it. I know i say this every 4-6 weeks, but my hair has NEVER been this nappy! I have naps on top of naps. I've almost given up on combing it. Thank God i'm the only black woman in my office cus someone would have surely called me out by now. It's freaking bad. But tonight it will be silky and smooth and i can't freaking wait.
   
   
2. So, wanna know what the WORST movie of all time is? It's Jennifer's Body. My partner-in-crime (Kerra) and I went and saw it Monday night -- thank God she had free movies passes cus I would have been ticked if I had paid for that turd. If you see any good reviews for this consider them paid for with money or with other favors cus this movie was TERRIBLE: bad dialogue that was supposed to be how teens speak but soooooooo wasn't, not thought out plot (apparently sacrificing virgins is how rock bands become famous. that explains Blink 182, i guess), an ending -- heck and a beginning -- that leaves you confused. Don't even get this from the redbox cus you will be mad that you spent a buck.
   
   
3. The other day i had a hankering for some grilled KFC so i headed over there and ordered what i've ordered a million times: grilled white box, which comes with a wing and a breast. When i get my food, it was thigh and a drumstick. I don't do dark meat -- hence James. Just kidding, i like dark meat in everything but chicken. I told the little drive-thru dude that my order was wrong:
   ReRe: I ordered wing and a breast and got a thigh and drumstick
   Drive-thru dude: We don't make wings.
   i almost laughed out loud. don't make WINGS? 1) you are freaking KFC, you make wings and 2) Did i mention you are KFC?
   ReRe: ???? Um, yeah. I order wings all the time. You make them.
   Drive-thru dude: Well, we don't make wings in the grilled because they come out so small and there's barely any meat on the bones.
   ReRe: Um, yea I order grilled wings all the time. You make them. They are on your menu.
   we just stare at each other.
   ReRe: Well, do you still make breasts cus I got a thigh instead?
   wait for it. just wait for it. this dude really said the following
   Drive-thru dude: When people order breasts, we give them a thigh.
   
   What the heck did he just say?! I thought about just ordering a thigh so he'd give me a breast, but finally he did me a favor and gave me a breast -- but no wing.
   
   
4. Have I ever told you how much i despise Cox Cable? It started back in college when The Brown House (a black girl, and two mexicans) decided to switch our home phone from AT&T to Cox because the deal Cole Matthews (yes, i still remember his freaking name) made us was that there'd be no installation fee. Sweet! Well, when we got our bill, we had an extra $120 installation fee. Of course we called to dispute it, first with Cole who was like "Oh, i didn't have authorization to promise that." Umm, but you did dude, so fix it. We fought Cox for what felt like a year and eventually we won and didn't pay it. But i still hate them and think about starting my own cable company every day. But anywhoo, my hate for them deepened recently. As you know, James and I cut our addictive cable about 2 years ago and recently rejoined the cable world. When i saw that we could go from limited basic cable ($11.75 a month) to expanded cable ($37.75 a month -- according to the site) for only another $26 i figured it wasn't such a bad deal. But when i got the bill it turns out that expanded cable is NOT $37.75 like the site says, it's $37.75 PLUS the $11.75. Umm, why not just say that cable dude when i call and says "This cost $37.75" and you say "Yep." Why not just say "It's an extra $37.75." Oh, that's right, cus you work for Cox and making it easy on the customer is not in the mission statement. I did call and complain and get some cash knocked off my bill -- but i still hate them and miss Multimedia Cable Vision.
   
   
5. What am I jamming this week? "Be on You" by Flo Rida and my boy Ne-Yo:
   
   

Trailer Park Trash No More

It's state fair time in the great state of Okiehoma. I love the state fair. I've had good times (roasted peanuts) and bad times (getting sick on the boat that sways back and forth). And i always have a blast.

James and I went this past Sunday. I had the best tasting calzone ever. Some delicious roasted nuts, a 1,000 samples and a lemonade. Eating is one of my favorite fair ride, followed by people watching -- i saw a rather large woman wearing nothing but a pair of cutoffs and a sports bra.

But the best part of the fair is walking through the mobile homes. I don't know if they do this at other state fairs -- probably not -- but here in Oklahoma, mobile home manufactures showcase double-wides that are out of this world. They are always huge -- 2,080 square feet -- and come with all the amenities: jacuzzi, huge deck, granite counter tops, you name it. The decorations are fancy: big screen TVs, stainless steal appliances, linens that match the drapes (yowza!)

I love looking at them, but this year it donned on me: you never know anyone who lives in a trailer that looks like that.

I've known a few folks who've lived in trailers and they've never had jacuzzis -- heck, half of them probably didn't have tubs at all.
I wanna know where the trailer park that is filled with these fancy mobile home is cus i've never seen it. It's probably in some third dimension where white-collar workers all live in double-wides and call other people "foundation home trash."

If you know someone who lives in a fancy trailer, send me their address -- i've been wanting to get to the third dimension soon.

But seriously, has anyone ever

That's So James

James will kill me when he finds out/reads that I shared his guilty pleasure.

Last Saturday evening James was hopping in the shower. I found that odd because he's a morning shower person.

ReRe: You are taking a shower tonight?
James: Yea.
ReRe: So did you not take one this morning (he's not a two-shower kinda guy unless he HAS to).
James: No, I didn't have time. I was watching Raven. It was a new episode!

Yes readers, my 33-year-old husband loves watching That's So Raven on Saturday mornings.
Reason #4,269 why I love him.

When Wal-Mart and Oklahoma collide

Wanna know my new addiction? It's this! This site freaking cracks me up. It would be even funnier if a 1/3 of these photos WEREN'T from my home state. But that part cracks me up too because it's so true!

Guess who's back, back again...

Well, this didn't last long. Last week on my lunch break I got a text from Lil Bro that said "sis, i need to talk to you, it's kind of important."

I knew before I called what he wanted: to move back in. James and I knew our empty nest status wouldn't last long. Without a job and with a roomie he barely knew, Lil Bro's apartment situation was destined for doom. I could have told him this (I think i did), but of course he would have never believed me anyway.

Of course we obliged -- with some conditions which include no shady friends at the house, cleaning up after himself and no over night guests that have the same parts as me.

But we forgot to include one more important condition: NO FALLING ASLEEP WHILE YOU HAVE FISH STICKS IN THE OVEN.

Early Saturday morning, James and I awoke to a loud beeping sound.

ReRe: Baby, do you hear that? Is that a smoke alarm?
James: I don't think it's coming from inside our house

(that cracked me up. Ummm, whose house would it be coming from).

We both get out of bed to find Lil Bro in the kitchen burning some fish sticks. Who eats fish sticks at 2:30 in the morning? Lil Bro does. Lil Bro was not there when we went to sleep, so we were surprised to see him. He apologized for waking us and told us he came to crash in the computer room because his apartment "smells funny." We talked about the plan for moving his stuff that weekend and James and I returned to bed.

All through the night I could smell burned fish sticks. I just figured the stench was lingering, but something didn't feel right. I opened my eyes and it felt like a fog was every where. But no smoke alarm this time. I got up anyway and told James to do the same. We opened our bedroom door and we were smacked in the face with a cloud of fishy smoke. The whole house smelled like burning minced fish and Lil Bro was no where to be found.
I ran to the kitchen to find that Lil Bro had left his fish sticks in the oven.


Charred to a crisp.
Apparently when I went back to bed at 2:30, Lil Bro did the same -- letting the sticks cook for 3 hours.


James and opened all the windows and tried to usher the smoke out with a fan.
Where is Lil Bro during all this you ask?

Crashed out in the computer room. Not even aware of what has happened.

James: That boy hasn't even moved back in and he's already almost killed us twice in one night.

Potluck Friday

It's Friday!!!

1. Let me just say that i'm loving the fall weather we are having. I love the fall. Yesterday I even decorated the front porch with my fall stash of pumpkins. It was weird though because all of a sudden Kanye West appeared out of nowhere and was like "Fall is nice and all but winter is a better season and has the best decorations." So random.
   
   
2. So last night was my first dining experience at Hooters. That's where Middle Bro wanted to go for his 21st birthday, so i obliged. I've never seen a restaurant with so many men and so many bikers. And apparently food is not Hooters main focus cus there was very little on the menu. But heck, there was very little clothing on the waitresses so they are sticking to the theme.
   
   
3. One of my favorite bloggers, Dr. Monkey, went on a trip to the future and saw James and I! When i read this post, i busted out laughing!
   
   
4. Remember when I had the big girl slumber party? Well that night we watched Dirty Dancing -- the best movie of all time -- and all marveled at how freaking hot Swayze was and we were just too young to appreciate it. Well, as you know, Patrick lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. So RIP Patrick. I tried to post a blog about the loss earlier this week, but once again dang Kanye interrupted.
   
   
5. Instead of what i'm jamming to this week, here is what i'm watching this week: Glee on Fox. It's HILARIOUS. It earned much respect from this week because one of the musical numbers was "I'm Gonna Sex You Up" by Oklahoma City's one and only Color Me Badd!
   
   

Food Recall per Me

I don't want to know what goes on in half the places my food is manufactured in. But unfortunately this morning i got a little taste. Well, no, i didn't get to taste. I REFUSE to taste my Crispy Quaker Oat Bar.

Why?

I present you exhibit A and exhibit B:


I thought the package of the oat bar felt weird when i pulled it out of the box. My first thought was "Oh know someone DID NOT put their unfinished oat bar back in the box!" But then i saw that the package was unopened. So this means one of two things: 1) Some hungry worker at the Quaker factory got hungry and took a bite of my oat bar and instead of finishing it, he packaged his left overs and sent it on its merry way or 2) (this is james'thought) the bar got broken at the factory and they packaged a broken bar.

I don't buy theory 2 (just like i won't be buying these bars again) because exhibit B clearly has bite marks. That's not a clean break, that's a teeth break.

There's one more oat bar in the box, and from what i can tell it's a full bar. But i'm still creeped out. I may have a bowl of coco puffs instead. At least i know when the cereal box is half full it's not because someone ate them, it's because they like to rip us off by filling the box with half air.

Baby Talk

James and I get asked about when we are gonna have kids on a daily basis these days. Ok, it's not that often, but pretty regularly. The inquiring minds usually belong to family members and close friends, but recently I had an unusual inquiring mind ask me in an unusual way.

So i'm standing in the front yard watering my roses, minding my own business. Neighbor guy across the street -- who has probably had 2 conversations with me since he moved in last year (and one of those conversations with me was him asking if he could do a vacuum demo at our house) -- waves at me. I wave back and continue watering. And then i hear: Hey, hey. I look over at Neighbor guy and then he yells -- in the countriest-sounding accent with a hint of exasperation and annoyance -- Are yall ever gonna have any kids?

I didn't even know how to respond. It's not like neighbor guy has known us for years. For all he knows, we are newlyweds. Why is Neighbor guy all up in my reproductive business.

His little girls are in the front yard and he decides to include them in the conversation. He points at them and says: Kids are really great! Umm, i know this! Maybe he thinks i hate kids or eat them for breakfast.

I yell back over: Yeah, i know. We like kids. Some day we'll have some.
James and I brainstormed some other responses i should have yelled that would have been better:

• Are yall ever gonna buy your house?
• I can't have kids because i used to be a man.
• What? We do have kids! (and then just make him wonder where we keep them)
• Nope, hate kids. Especially little bratty girls who always want to talk to me when i'm trying to get in my car.

I know Neighbor dude was just curious -- like everyone else. The "when you gonna have kids" question has always amused me for many reasons:

1. People start asking the minute after you cut your wedding cake
2. People only start asking you after they've had kids (none of my single girlfriends or kid-less friends ever ask)
3. If you've been married 2 years or more and don't have kids, folks either assume 1) you hate kids or 2) you can't have kids

I love when i run into people from high school and they have tons of kids ( 4 or 5 by different dudes) and then they start interrogating me about where my babies are and how i better get started etc. etc. One day when one of these ladies says : When are you gonna ever have kids? i'm gonna say: When are you ever gonna marry one of your baby daddies?

Wow, this blog is turning cranky and hormonal --maybe i'm pregnant! hahaha. I'm not! (this is how rumors get started). In all seriousness, i don't mind the baby questions -- i just prefer them with less judgement!

21 years ago...

What were you doing 21 years ago today?

Well, I was 7 years old and my mom was 9 months pregnant and posed a question to me:

Do you want to go to school or do you want to go to the hospital with me?

I loved school, but i'd waited 7 long years to be a big sister and I wasn't missing that opportunity for nothing, so i chose the hospital.

Unfortunately we didn't quite make it to the hospital. Well, technically we made it to the hospital, but not inside. 21 years ago, while 7 year-old ReRe sat in the backseat of my uncle's car my mom delivered Middle Bro in the front seat -- squeezing my little hand to death!

While my uncle jumped out to get help, i remember watching my mom unzip her red shorts and saying "This baby is not waiting." The next thing I knew a crying baby was laying on the floor.

Pick it up, pick it up! I squealed from the backseat.

No, No. My mom cried. It's gonna be a boy and I don't want a boy!

She was right. She eventually picked it up and Middle Bro was a boy -- and she adored him anyway!

I returned to school just in time for show and tell -- and i had the best tell ever! But, I do remember my teacher, Ms. Love, cutting my story short when I started getting too detailed about how "the baby was covered in this stuff that looked kind of like butter."

My uncle sold his car not too long afterward. He said it just never felt the same.
Nothing was ever the same: my mom was now the mother of a son, and I was a big sister!

Happy Birthday to my Bubby!!! Thank you for making me a big sister!

Free Holy Negroes

If you've read this blog long enough (or even a few times ) you know that James and I are quirky. We are often told we should have our own reality show -- we'd totally do it too! Our quirkiness is spontaneous. It comes at the oddest times and we feed off each other. Sometimes we forget we are in public and the quirkiness goes balls to the wall wild.
And this was the case yesterday while grocery shopping at Wally World.

We are on the bean aisle looking for black beans. But of course we didn't call them black beans. No, that would be too normal. We called them frijoles negros, but but we pronounced it "Free Holy Negroes."

Wally was practically out of Free Holy Negroes, so we spent about 10 minutes on the bean aisle doing a sing-song of "Where are the Free Holy Negroes? I don't see the Free Holy Negroes. Wally World is out of the Free Holy Negroes."

After about 5 minutes I hoped we never found the Free Holy Negroes so we could sing this song forever. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people trying not to stare, especially when James said --NEGROES.

But then i felt a direct stare toward us. I turned around to see a familiar face. She busted out laughing and said "You guys are hilarious. I've really enjoyed the show!"
The member of our audience is actually a friend of a friend who i've met a few times, but not enough to know her name. But she's heard and read the stories of James and ReRe and felt honored to see a blog in the making!

Potluck Friday

I would say TGIF, but i have class tonight and all weekend so the only thing keeping me going is this Potluck! On the bright side i finished my paper at a decent hour last night and got at least 7 hours of sleep!

1. So remember last week when i complained about the post office dude banging 8,000 fragile stamps on my picture frame? Well, later that day i got an anonymous comment from someone who was either the post office dude himself or the Godfather of the Post Office. The commenter was mad because the file photo I used was actually from UPS, i guess insinuating that the USPS would NEVER damage a package. Well, jokes on you cus I had this convo with my daddy on Wednesday:
   Daddy: I got the picture of you and james. It's beautiful!
   ReRe: Oh thank you! Did the frame make it?
   Daddy: No, the glass was broken when i opened it.
   ReRe: That probably happened before it even shipped!
   
   
2. I will give $1 million to anyone who can tell me how to PERMANENTLY block all the Facebook Apps. Before you start trying to claim the bucks, don't be trying to give me all this complicated mumbo jumbo like having to download another app to block an app. I'm starting to really enjoy Facebook, but the apps are KILLING me. Seriously, the only thing i ever want to pop up is a friend request. I don't want to play farm town, i don't want fake gifts or to take a quiz to find out which Twilight guy is the one for me (I already know it's Edward!)
   
   
3. Our neighbors recently got a little chihuahua and i HATE this dog with a passion. In general i hate chihuahuas. No, it's not because they are little -- my two furbabies are 10 and 14 pounds. But chihuahua are just...i don't know. i just can't stand them. And this one in particular is making me say very unchristian things when i go outside and see him crapping in my yard. Seriously, put that rat on a leash or in the backyard. But no, they just let it run all around the neighborhood, yipping at everything. It loves to go to my fence and bark at my dogs which just ticks off my whole fam! I've thought about snatching up the dog and sending a ransom note, or just hiding it in my garage (like i did with the neighbor kid's bike when i he wouldn't stop leaving it in my yard). Dear God, grant me the strength to not kill the taco bell dog.
   
   
4. The other day on TLC I was watching a show called Half Ton Mom about a 900 pound woman going through gastric bypass. I found it very ironic -- and sick -- that in the corner of the screen, TLC displayed a little message saying "Don't forget to watch Ultimate Cake Challenge later tonight!" Seriously, they couldn't have promoed ANY OTHER SHOW NOT RELATED TO FOOD?!
   
   
5. Speaking of TLC, has anyone seen Toddlers and Tiaras? The show is as scary as the title sounds. These parents are CRAZY. And is it just me, but doesn't all that pageant crap (terrible fake hair, fake teeth, spray tans, god-awful glitter outfits) just make all these little girls look like mini-drag queens?
   
   
6. So Middle Bro will be 21 next week. I can't freaking believe that. And even more unbelievable is where he has decided to have the family dinner. HOOTERS. Yes, HOOTERS. He said he loves the "food" there. So next Thursday I will be eating at and looking at Hooters while surrounded by my little brothers, husband and Middle Bro's girlfriend.
   
   
7. What's ReRe jamming this week? "Closer" by Ne-Yo. (i love this dude, he's so talented)
   
   

When Goths get lazy

On a recent trip to the mall, James and I stopped in Hot Topic. I immediately felt 500 years-old when i walked in. The worker who greeted me at the door was 12 and dressed like Rainbow Bright and Marilyn Manson combined. The music playing made my ears hurt, and every time i turned around, i saw an article of clothing that offended my fashion buds.

The item of clothing that offended me most was a pair of baggy jeans with safety pins all over them. The pants were on sale for like $60. Why was i offended? Because back in my day, all the "non-conformist goth kids" MADE THEIR OWN freaky pants with safety pins. They didn't buy them! And i thought buying jeans with holes in them was ridiculous, but this is wayyy past that.

How lazy of a goth do you have to be to go BUY a pair of jeans with safety pins in them? And where the heck are these pants manufactured? I can only imagine some sweat shop in China filled with tiny ladies putting safety pins in pants for all "the weird American kids."

One year i went as a goth for a Halloween -- i won best dressed too -- and i remember spending about 45 minutes putting safety pins in a pair of pants. I did go to Hot Topic to buy an offensive T-shirt and a studded beanie to top off my outfit, but i did the handy work myself. That's what a real goth does, people. The kiddos today have it to easy.

While i'm on the topic of kids having it to easy, on this same mall trip we also went into Spencer's. I love this store, but was offended when i saw they sold beer bongs. Seriously? Back in my day WE MADE OUR OWN!!! That was part of the fun. But no, not today. Kids have everything handed to them. Don't even get me started on Beer Pong sets and all the "rules." I'm pretty sure me and my roomies created this game in 2001 and we didn't have all these funky rules or fancy cups. It was simple. Bounce the ball -- drink. Bounce the ball-- drink. Geesh, kids of today. This is why Obama had to reach out to the students -- we are losing them!!!!

Xscaping to my past!

Kandi is my new favorite Real Housewives of Atlanta. Not only does she stay out of the drama but she made her OWN money. But this post is not about Real Housewives, it's not even about Kandi. It's about Xscape. Before Kandi was a housewife, she was the lead singer of Xscape -- which was my favorite R&B group back in the 90s. I had posters of them on my wall and had their music on tape (yes, i said tape -- i eventually got them on CD but my first single was on tape).

I wish groups were more like Xscape these days. These young ladies weren't naked on stage (like the Pussycat Dolls). They didn't have to show the goodies to show the talent.

So in honor of Kandi being the best housewife of Atlanta and Xscape being the best group of yesteryear, here's some of my favorite Xscape jams (and an idea of what High School ReRe was jamming too):

Dang, don't you hate when folks don't allow you to embed a video. Dang you Xscape! i'm giving you some kudos and this is how you repay me?! Oh well. I will list and link to my favorite jams:

"Understanding"

"Who Can I run to"

"My little secret"

"Feels so good"

"Can't hang"

"Do you want to"

"Just Kicking it"

Lions and Tigers and Birthdays!

Five years ago James took me camping for the first time. It wasn't my first time tent camping, but it was my first time in a very long time. I'll admit that i was miserable that night. I was uncomfortable, cold, nasty. James felt like a terrible boyfriend -- and I didn't argue with him. He promised that on our next trip he'd take me to a cabin complete with central heat and air and electricity.

I never really held him to that promise because over the last 5 years i've grown to LOVE camping. My friend Junior teases me all the time because he thinks i'm the only black person who camps -- and honestly, i am usually the only person of color out at the lake! Even though I've never held James to the promise of a cabin, he didn't forget and this past weekend, in celebration of my 28th birthday, my hubby took me to a cabin!

We went to G.W. Exotic Animal Park and rented a cabin for two nights. It was great. About 100 yards from our cabin were lions and tigers (in a cage of course).

And every night we listened to the animals roar and moan. We cooked out on our patio.



It was the best "camping" trip we've ever had -- and not just because we had air conditioning -- though that was a BIG plus.

When we returned on Sunday, my hubby treated me to a big steak birthday dinner. It doesn't get better than that!

Potluck Friday

What makes this Potluck Friday even tastier? I'm off today!!!

1. This is my last Potluck Friday...as a 27 year-old. Yes ladies and gents, ReRe will be one year older come this Sunday. On Sept. 6, 1981 my mom was celebrating her 30th birthday by giving birth to me! My mom could never lie about her age because i always knew to just add 30 years to mine -- she pinched me many of times for that mathematical discovery!
   
   
2. Since my birthday is near, the jobbie job gave me today off. Well, i actually get today off cus i give my fair share to United Way, but it's still a good trade off! My hubby has a fabulous birthday weekend planned for me -- i will give you the scoop on Monday.
   
   
3. I got into a fight with Lil Bro last night. I think moving out has made him lose his mind. The fight started over text:
   Lil Bro: Re, can i borrow 30 bucks. I get paid tomorrow and give it back to you.
   (Lil Bro got a job!)
   ReRe: I don't have 30 bucks to give you. It's the first of the month and bills be due.
   (It wasn't a complete lie. I may have 30 bucks, but i don't have it to give to him. And it really is the first of the month and Country Wide did just take a butt load of mortgage money)
   Lil Bro: I get paid tomorrow. I will give it back to you.
   ReRe: I don't have it. Plus, if you are getting paid tomorrow, why are you in such a hurry to get money now?
   Lil Bro: Cus i'm hungry and my dogs are hungry.
   ReRe: Well, i don't have it.
   Lil Bro: Not even in the ATM?
   (Oh no he didn't. This sent me over the edge. How are you gonna tell me to go to the ATM?! I decided to end the texts and call him):
   ReRe: That was rude, dude. YOU don't tell me to go to the ATM. If i say i don't have it, i don't have it.
   Lil Bro: Why can't James go to the ATM?
   (by now i'm LIVID)
   ReRe: Did you forget that I just bought you $100 worth of groceries last week, plus did all of your laundry -- with MY SOAP AND MY WATER? You are being very ungrateful. It's not my problem you and your dogs are hungry. Yesterday when i was talking to you, you were eating lunch at Church's while i was eating at home so clearly you have some money.
   Lil Bro: I didn't buy that.
   ReRe: Well, next time your homies want to buy you chicken, ask them to buy you a can of dog food instead. I don't have 30 bucks to give to you. I'm done with this conversation.
   Lil Bro: Fine then ReRe, Fine then.
   
   Lil Bro was a Lil Butthead. But i'm proud that i stood my ground. Old ReRe would have been at the ATM in a heartbeat. Lil Bro is gonna learn he can't be feeding all his homies or he and his dogs are gonna be hungry for a long time.
   
   
4. Am i the only one who thinks it's crazy that The Duggars are having their 19th baby? (they also have a grandbaby on the way. Their freaking grandkid is gonna be older than their own kid) I'm sure these folks are nice, but they are also wacka doo. I don't care how much money you have, there is no way 2 parents can give enough love and attention to 19 children. My hubby is no. 9 of 11 children and he and his siblings will be the first ones to tell you that it's easy to get lost in the shuffle. I've seen The Duggars TV show before and it's clear that the older kids do a lot of parenting of the younger kids. When one of the Duggar girls is swinging from a stripper pole in 10 years getting the attention she wished she got growing up, Daddy Duggar and Mommy Duggar are gonna wish they stopped at 4 kids.
   
   
5. Speaking of crazy. Surviving a plane crash and then later dying of a drug overdose is crazy. RIP DJ AM.
   
   
6. What's ReRe jamming this week?Pitbull's "Hotel Room Service." I think this is my song of the year!!!
   
   

Our fine postal service at work....

So this week i gently wrapped one of our framed "engagement photos" in some newspaper and then put it ever so slowly into a bubble wrap envelope so I could send it to my dad in Virginia.
I just want you to get the picture of how good i was taking care of this package.

When I handed the package over to the post office dude yesterday, i did this gently as well.

Post office dude: Is this perishable or fragile?

I was grateful that he asked! Post office dude cares about my frame as much as me.....or at least i thought.

ReRe: Yes it is. It's a picture frame.

Post office dude pulled out a "fragile stamp." Oh how sweet, i thought. He's going to make sure this package is protected by all means.

Not really.

And then Post office dude started banging the stamp on my package. I'm talking BANGING. Bang, bang, bang. 5 red "fragile" stamps on the front. I swear i heard a crack.

AND THEN Post office dude flipped over my package and slammed 5 or 6 more stamps on the backside.

Seriously Post office dude? Seriously.

Just when I thought things could not get worse, Post office dude took my package and tossed -- yes tossed -- it behind him on the pile of other mail.

Maybe "Fragile" no longer means fragile. Maybe it means "Please beat this package like it's a piece of meat."

See what niceness gets ya?

So yesterday Lil Bro called me at work to see if he could come do some laundry on my lunch break. Since he asked instead of just sneaking in, i obliged and let him come over. Of course he spent half do everything but laundry, so when my hour was up he hadn't even put one load in.

I thought about letting him just stay until he got done, but then crazy images of wild parties, him eating all my food and the police crept into my head and I decided it would be better if I just finished it when i came home (I'm sweet like that).

Luckily Lil Bro had sorted the hundreds of loads of laundry neatly on his now his empty bedroom floor, so it made it easy for me to just grab loads and go. I was feeling even sweeter than usual so I decided I would even fold Lil Bro's laundry when it was dry.

But that idea went out of the window when i was putting a load of whites into the dryer and noticed the tiniest pair of undies fall on the ground.

A THONG! A FREAKING THONG. And I found way more than one. I know Lil Bro has a girlfriend, and I doesn't surprise me that she'd spend a lot of time over there, but what kind of person sends her dirty thongs over to a strangers house to be washed???!!!

I sent Lil Bro a text: I'm no longer folding your clothes. I REFUSE to fold another lady's underwear.

His response: K

After about 3 loads of laundry, I realized that I was finding more than ladies undies. I found jeans, shorts, shirts, you name it.

I sent Lil Bro a text: Either your girlfriend lives with you or you are a crossdresser.

He never responded.

My fingers are crossed that he's gonna want me to teach him how to walk in heels.

Inquiring minds want to know

All I want to know is....

How did Mario Lopez's hair go from this:

to this:

?????

Seriously?! Does this dude get up every morning and flat iron this? Please Mario, tell me your secret because I flat iron my hair EVERY morning.

P.S. Ladies, you are very welcome for picture No. 2! (yowza!)