New Moon: The ReReview (but no spoilers!)

Words can not express how excited i was to see New Moon this past Saturday. I had class earlier that day, and while everyone else was immersed in learning how to write and present the perfect grant proposal, all i could do was count down the time till i got to see Jacob Black's abs of steel.

When class got out, i went home with every intent to nap for two hours so i would be fully ready for the evening, but stupid E! had a New Moon special on. So instead of napping, i watched behind the scenes clips.

The movie started at 8:25, but the plan was to get there by 6:30 so we could be ready to get seats. I headed to the mall at 5 in search for the perfect Team Jacob shirt (don't hate on me. yeah, i'm team Jacob. Abs aside, he's way less strange than Edward). I went to my favorite mall store: Hot Topic.
Once again i immediately felt old. But i didn't care. I rummage through the pile of Twilight merchandise: hats, shirts, squeezie bottles, backpack, lunchboxes, iron-on patches, etc.

I found the perfect shirt: shirtless Jacob. I also struck up the best conversation with a little guy who worked at Hot Topic:

Hot Topic Guy: Oooohh. Great shirt choice! So, you are Team Jacob?!
ReRe: Thanks! Yes, i am! I love the abs, even if he is only 17.
Hot Topic Guy: Jacob is soooooooo hot! He's way hotter than Edward. Jacob and Emmet are my favorites.
ReRe: Yeah, Emmet is hot too.
Hot Topic Guy: If it were up too me, Emmet would walk around in a thong during the entire movie.

I had no response. What do you say to that!

I grabbed my shirt, met up with my girls and we headed to the theater. Thank God we went early. Folks were already lined up. We plopped down on the floor in line and proceeded to wait until seating began. It would have felt like eternity if we didn't have the luxury of people watching. That helped us pass the time and soon we were in our seats and staring at Edward (yeah, i'm Team Jacob, but i'm also a healthy woman who can't deny that Edward makes social anxiety look really really hot).

New Moon was great -- but compared to the low-budget Twilight it couldn't be bad. The wardrobes (for the most part) were way better. The acting was better. The lighting was better and the special effects -- especially with the wolves -- were amazing. It stayed truer to the book than Twilight did, even though the end was not accurate. I think overall it was well worth the 2-hour wait and sore tushie i got sitting on the floor.

But of course I do have suggestion list for the future movies. Even though i know the third movie has already been shot, i do hope the directors read my blog and may consider some of these changes:

1. Get Bella a new wardrobe. Yeah, she's just a regular girl, but come on, why are all the other actors in good clothes and Kristen Stewart is wearing her own jeans and Keds to the set?
   
2. Why does Edward have to be suuuuch a weirdo. He always looks like he's in pain. Even when he's kissing. What's up with all the grunting? He always looks like he's on the verge of crying. It's too much.
3. Why must Jasper have a blond curly perm? Yeah, he was probably turned into a vampire when that hair style was in -- but i'm sure it was NEVER in for MEN. So please get rid of that hair.
4. More wolf pack please. Taylor Lautner worked hard for those abs and they need to be shown wayyyy more.
   
5. Get rid of the little Asian kid at the high school. His hair is too much for me to take, and that dude clearly is more into Jacob than any of the girls at the school.
   
6. Get a new Rosalie. I think Nikki Reed is gorgeous -- but not as a blond. So either let her have her natural hair color, or get a real blond. The wig was distracting.
   
7. Don't let Edward go shirtless again. It's just not fair to have shirtless Jacob and then make Rob take off his shirt. It would be one thing if Rob took off his shirt next to Jack Black, but don't make him do it next to Taylor Lautner. That's just rude.
8. Get Kristen checked out for Turrets. She blinks a lot and i'm convinced something is wrong.
   
9. Emmet should join the wolf pack and go shirtless. Yeah, i know it's not in the books, but lots of things aren't in the book but are in the movie, so roll with it.
10. Make Rob shave his chest. The squiggly black chest hairs against his pale vampire skin are distracting. Not as distracting as Bella's blinking and Rosalie's wig, but still distracting.