Tiny food and big disappointments -- Top Chef

So this week on Top Chef started out somber for cheftestant Jamie, the last remaining member of Team Rainbow. Queeny got canned last week, making me and millions of others wonder if being gay means you have good taste in clothes but not good taste in food. Well, Jamie set off to prove that theory wrong.
Did she succeed?
Keep reading.
The Quickfire Challenge brought in Rocco Dispirito, a hot chef known for his skill in Italian food. But Snooty Fabio was quick to point out that Rocco is not really Italian. Well you know what Fabio? I don't care because he's HOT.
Tha Quickfire Challenge required the cheftestants to make a breakfast amuse-bouche item. Amuse-bouche means the item is small -- one bite. I like to say it means the item is not enough, but that's just me.
New York Daniel makes cornflakes and zucchini flowers -- yum... not.
Mom (Ariane) makes stuffed french toast, an item she says she makes for her kiddos. Snooty Fabio makes traditional french toast, which is a cop out, but what evs. Leah, who won the Quickfire last week, makes a tiny bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and is upset because other people's items are not amuse-bouchey enough for her -- she likes her food tiny.
Luckily, Rocco likes his food tiny as well and he picks her as the winner (Rocco also likes bacon). Leah wins immunity again -- ticking off Team Rainbow's Jamie.
Now, I've been excited all week about this Elimination Challenge. If you remember, last week they teased us showing The Today Show's Meredith Viera, making us believe the cheftestants were going to be cooking on Today. And when Padma revealed the elimination challenge, i still thought this.
I was wrong.
The challenge was for the cheftestants to create a dish for a live 2-minute TV presentation. Each chef would have to do their presentation in front of the judges.
Some folks freak out about doing TV: Fabio is nervous because his English is bad and New York Daniel is nervous because his "English" is bad.
Ken Doll (Jeff) wasn't nervous at all. Of course not, he's pretty and pretty people love being on TV.
To everyone's surprise, Fabio's rough English made his presentation great. He said funny things like "I'm fresh out of the boat" that made the judges laugh. It also did something else -- it made me fall in love with Fabio (notice how i've dropped the Snooty?). How have i missed how hot this man is!? NY Daniel was adorable too, hamming it up for the camera. But Chef Tom thought he was over the top cheesy. At least he didn't serve raw eggs like Rainbow Jamie, soggy creme brulee like Alex (who? you ask. exactly. this was the first episode i noticed him too). Melissa, who has the craziest bangs ever, served hot shrimp that gave Padma third-degree burns inside her mouth. And some folks, like Carla and Rahdika, didn't even finish their cooking in the alotted time.
The disappointing part of this challenge was here we are like 35 mins in and the Today Show has not been mentioned. I've been punk'd.
The judges chose their favorites: Fabio (love you), Ken Doll and Mom -- everyone gasped when Mom was called.
The bottom three were: Alex (mention #2), Crazy bangs Melissa (yea, when you burn the judges, you have to expect to be in the bottom) and Rainbow Jamie.
Before the winner and the loser are picked, the producers finally reveal the Today Show connection. Chef Tom wakes up the three winners -- Ken Doll, Fabio and Mom-- as 2 a.m. and reveals that the must go down to 30Rock and prepare their meals. Yay! They are going to cook on the Today Show!!! Nope.
They are going to cook in a kitchen next to the Today Show and then sit in a green room while the Today Show ladies taster their food and choose a winner. Boo. You got me up at 2 in the morning to make me sit in a green room and look at Kathie Lee Gifford. Boo.
Kathie Lee, Meredith and some other Today Show ladies who i'm sure no one knows their names tasted the dishes. They all liked Mom's beef steak and tomato salad with watermelon and feta. I think i'd like it too. it has all the things a black girl loves: meat and watermelon.
They seem to enjoy Fabio's tuna with roasted asparagus as well. But Kathie Lee upchucks Ken Doll's shrimp roll. Now Kathie Lee knows how I feel when i watch her on TV.
In a surprise upset -- i'm talking the kind of surprise when the OKC Thunder win a game -- Mom was named the winner. More gasps. Don't take this to your head Mom, you won for a freaking salad! Padma revealed that Ariane would be cooking on the Today Show the day after the challenge aired, so i guess that means she was on Today today. I tuned in while brushing my teeth but they were talking about two teenage girls abusing elderly people, so i must have missed Mom. Or maybe they teens were abusing her. Oh well.
Alex Who go the boot. No one shed a tear because no one realized he was on the show.
Tune in next week when the cheftestants cook for Gayle's shower. yea, i didn't know she was getting married either.